Monday, July 25, 2005


A WOMAN comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband: Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well,they're gone. "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies: "Margie referred me to a hypnotist

He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache."I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies: "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says: "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says: "Don't move. I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says: "Boy that was wonderful!" The husband says: "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says: "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror saying: "

She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!" ha ha ha

Friday, July 08, 2005


Do women call you Fatty?
Do women call you Baldy?
Do women call you Ugly?
Do women call you Shortie?
Do women call you Stupid?
Do women call you Loser?
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Friday, July 01, 2005

Mafia Sensibility
As an old Italian Mafia Don lay dying he calledhis grandson to his bed. "Grandson, I wannayou lisina to me. I want for you to take mychrome plated .38 revolver so you will alwaysremember me.""But," whined the grandson, "I really don't likeguns, Grandpa. How about leaving me yourGold Rolex Watch instead?""You lisinna to me, you somana bitch" respondedthe Don. "Somma day you gonna be runna dabussiness. You gonna have a beautiful wife,lotsa money, a big home and maybe a coupleof bambinos.""Then onea day you goina comma home andmaybe finda you wife in bed with another man.Whatta you goina do then? Point to you watchand say, 'Times Up???"