Monday, December 26, 2005
Maria a beautiful Girl fell in love with Jose. She planned to marry very
soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her papa.
Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another groom . Your Mother does not know this, but
Jose is your half-brother".
So Maria forgot about her Jose, and soon planned to marry Ricardo. But
after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still. You cannot marry Ricardo, my darling. Please don't tell your mother, but Ricardo and Jose are your half-brothers."
Maria had no choice but to go to her mama. Mama already knew and said
"My darling, do what makes you happy. Marry Ricardo or marry Jose, because
you are not related to Papa."
What a family ?
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
Bombay has done it,Madras has done it ,Calcutta has done it, calicuthas done it. Could the country's IT hub, Bangalore lag behind?
Here I am talking of rechristening of the cities. Now it is the time for Bangalore to get christened to Bengaluru.
Most of the major cities are also likely to get renamed to pre-colonial,pre-sultan names..
Mysore to Mysooru
Belguam to Belgaavi
Hubli to hubbali
Mangalore to mangalooru.
Bijapur to Vijapura
Gulbarga to Kalburgi
Actually the first priority for the developing country is to change name, in order to move the title to developed country...
I wonder is Administrators are borrowing this idea by soap queen Ekta, by adding extra K her TRP gets better, serial go hit.. who knows states transport, poverty, unemployment may get solved :):)..
Then next it could be Delhi..
Friday, December 16, 2005
Hoping Devegouda Ex. P.M. Learnt this. Narayana Murthy, had resigned from the chairmanship of the Bangalore International Airport Limited following a remark made by former prime minister H D Deve Gowda.Deve Gowda had said that the Infosys boss had made no contribution in the last five years to bring the Bangalore International Airport Limited to fruition.
If one makes country proud, BCCI selectors make mockery.
I an't a supportor or Fan of Sourav Ganguly but BCCI's attitude of humilating Gangualy is not in a good taste.
His exclusion from the Indian squad for the Next Test inspite of satisfactory performance is not the way such a senior player & one of the sucessful Captain of India deserve.
Yes, at time Ganguly was liability for the team. He lacked the consistency as a player. Atleast he deserve a fair farewell.. Selectors atleast should not include him for one game & oust him out for another without valid reason.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I am Not your Friend If*****
You Have to think before Speaking to me
I am Not your Friend If*****
My friendship ever make you feel uncomfortable
I am Not your Friend If*****
you have to thank me for everything I do
I am Not your Friend If*****
you think I am not curious for your new philosophy of life
I am Not your Friend If*****
you you think listening to your dreams put me to sleep
I am Not your Friend If*****
you have to ask for favors
I am Not your Friend If*****
if you think I can not remember the first time we met.
In life there are some person who are so close to your heart, u are not ashamed of discussing your shortcomings or boast one's strength. That unique person in my life is my best friend Nish. She Is getting married.Now I am in mixed emotion. I am happy she is getting settled, at the same time I am sad that life wont be same for us. From now onwards our relation is reduced to electronics. I know things wont be same once She go to Dubai.
Lots to share about us, but now I am so blank.
I wish marraige brings her lots of happiness..
Friday, December 09, 2005
All the fan of John Abraham please pray for John. John recieved the death threat from specific source while shooting.
John Abraham, who was admitted to Lilavati hospital yesterday for mouth ulcers caused by irregular food habits while shooting .John is a strict vegetarian, but there was no proper vegetarian food available where he was shooting. Poor John..
My only request to all the people in universe is to spare all the good looking hunks for girl's sake.. hehehe
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
1. I don¡Çt want to marry working gal. It is your choice = You stupid, Why do I think I am in love with you(Colleague) , before I met you, I have seen your pay slip which attracted me more than you. else I would have fallen in love with my neighbor so beautiful.
2. I like a gal who loves my family, I love my parents, they are more than anything to me = You stupid if u don¡Çt behave well with my parents, my mom she is a modern lady, she may donate whole property to some old age home. I love my parent¡Çs property.
3. I don¡Çt see a beauty in a women , I like simple, soft spoken gal = Who will keep a watch dog on you, Agar ghar me he achcha kana mile tho bahar ka restaurant ka kya hoga? . Mera karnaama dekh kar chup baitne wali chahiye samji tum.
4. I am seeing a good friend in a gal = I know me very well,no one else can stand me, atleast dosti nibhane ke liye wo thodi adjust karegi
5.Don¡Çt want to marry for next five years = I want to flirt for 5 years with out any responsibility
6. I love you so much. I was missing you Honey = I was missing Sex so badly
7. Till sex they will hug you, once over they will say, let us play Rock & Roll. Rock & Roll, Rock & Roll , they will push you down the bed, they will keep one Rock under the bed & they will sleep grrrrrrrrrrr grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Monday, November 28, 2005
Hi friends, Everybody keep your Lal sheesha (Red mirror ) Ready.Shekhar Kapoor is Casting me in his movie Ms. India. hehhehe Friends just Kidding, I got this idea from Uttara Ms. Ghayab..
I was out on some emergency Project.. Will discuss it later :). Even I missed you all lot.. Hugzzzz...
We had some joke section during lunch hour with my buddies.. I wanna share some with u all Girly jokes, Some % of NV too
Contributed by myself, Yash, Deep, Preeti
Lady1:- Jab tumara divorce hua tha, tab ek hi bachcha tha, Abh theen kaisa
Lady2:-- Woh kabhi kabhi maafi mangne aa jaate hai hehehehhe
Lady1 :--- Howcome your husband is always home on time??
Lady 2:---I have made a simple rule. SEx will be at 9 P.M sharp whether u r here or Not
dad:-- Beta , tume kaisa biwi chahiye
beta:-- dad, muje chand jaisa biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye, aur subaha chale jaaye hehehe
It is said one should not take worry to bed, But many woman sleep with thier husband hehehehee
Q:-- what if Mallika sherawat plays the role of draupadi in Mahabharat?
A:-- Duryodhan would say "Pehle isko kapde pehnao, tabhi to wastra haran karunga"
Twin 1:--- Dad Came dad came
Twin 2:--- It is not dad, It is Uncle, Dad dont wear rain coat heheheheh
Dirty mind, now its enuf Take care friends, Have a Good day..
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Be it a cultural program in school, collage or hostel , it has to be Madhuri's Number.. grew up with madhuri's moments.. There may be n number of times, sprained legs & hands while trying to match up with Dance diva..
Some of my Madhuri's favourite..
1. Cholii ke piichhe kyaa hai, cholii ke piichhe (Kal Nayak) --- Those Jatka matka Wow oh lala
2. Meraa piyaa ghar aayaa, o raamajii (Yaarana) ------Jatka matka Facial expression
3. Ek do tiin, chaar paa.Nch chhe saat (Tejab) ---- Should I mention here;) ;)
4. Diidii teraa devar divaanaa haay raam ku.Duyo.n ko Daale daanaa (HAHK)--- Those Hip moments
5.Dhak-dhak karane lagaa, moraa jiyaraa Darane lagaa (Beta) --- Oh la la No coments
6. maaii ne maaii mu.NDer pe tere bol rahaa hai kaagaa (HAHK)---- Those innocent expressions
7. Ankhiyaan milaaoon kabhi ankhiyaan churaaoon Kya tune kiya jaadu(Raja) ---- Rocking & rolling the eye moments
8. Dola Re Dola Re Dola Re Dola (Devdas) ---- Aish was better
9. dekha hai pahali baar saajan ki aankhon mein pyar (Saajan)---- Again facial expressions
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Indians are the oldest to lose the Virginity at the average age of 19.8 years. What is the big deal?
Need not be proud on these claims. Mr. Surveyor. Don’t have to mistake with Ramaism(Stalk on one partner).
If given the opportunity, Indians will lose virginity at 9 years.
Virginity is not a dignity or a security, it is just a lack of opportunity.
1.Indians believe in spending quantity time with the partner than the quality time
2. 95% of time the couple spend their time in fighting & arguing for silly reasons
3. Major problem with Indians is lack of privacy, parents & society restriction.
4. Like US UK, people does not own a car to carry on the Job.
5. They get so less pocket money, majority can hardly plan a single movie for entire month.
6. If they dare to find a plan ground, they are watched by big brothers (cops)
7. If they chose a bush, they are haunted by Snakes
8. If they gather courage to book a room in a hotel, they are worried about Cops raid.
9. If they steal some private moment in a car, they are knocked by patrolling cops (Monsoon Wedding)
10. If they spend some quite moment on beaches, they are troubled by eunuch (Hizda's) , also cops raping them.(Marine Drive incident)
11. If they dare to go to each other's home, then there will be atleast one ailing grandparents at home, who act as a security guard..
Chalo chale kahi door chale pyaar ke liye jagah teek nahi. Indian's are no different from rest.
We dare courage too. We are too calculative. We have lesser vision.. If We roam with some guy, We want to get marry with that person, not bothered whether we are compatible, we can spend whole life with each other.
If we were different then India would not be second highest in the world population?. Indian don’t encourage Sex education in school to their children. They just believe in dark room ACT. Not only children need right education , but also the adults, street dwellers need the education & punishment too, for expanding the population, who does not have right to get a innocent life on earth if they cant feed, educate, give basic necessity to the children they are responsible for.
Even some politician also need some education, for supporting these slum dwellers & expanded family which they look up as a voting bank instead of threat to the country.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Hi friends, I was down with cold & cough.. I am back now. I am tagged again by my buddy Hirdu. Here I go with my 20 things.
1. I have immense faith in god. I am very religious.My friends get shocked to know this. I display dual character.
2. I am very stubborn. It is an inherited quality from my Zodiac Aries.
3. I am not environmental conscious.. I am least bothered of what people think & bla bla. I truely believe in "Its my life"..
4. I am Very Very emotional, I can cry for anyone on this earth for thier problem.
5. I cannot sleep in afternoon's. I dont let my roommates too. Max time I grant 5 to 10 min. Then I start disturbing. One can see all M.F hussein's painting on thier faces if the granted time is extended.
6. I ignore when some one hurt me, If I take to my heart then I plan worst. I hatch plan to kill them. Or kill myself to trouble them. I think of bieng suicide bomb or even joining some terror outfit.
7. I have black mole on my tongue. If I say something many times it come true..
8. I don't believe in ghost. I am not scared too. I feel I am the big devil.
9. I have not fought with my sibblings till now. They are too close to my heart.
10.I believe in Destiny.
11.Some people have misused me for thier selfish needs. This pains me a lot all the time.
12. I am not greedy. I have my own boundaries.
13. My friends feel I am big flirt. I act like that when in a company. In fact I dont have much interest in handsome hunks.
14. I like a gutsy guy with sense of humour. I hate coward guys.
15. I dont regret for any of my action. I have all the reason for my action.
16. My first crush was my classmate. The quality which attracted me is his lazzyness,bunking classes, Daring nature.
***I fought for him with placement officier when he was debarred from holding infosys job & banned him for attending any more placement interviews cause he attended the infy interview even though his cut off % was less than 65%. I am proud to say that I won & placement officier appreciated my guts.
17. I strongly believe rules are made to break.
18. I never like gandhiji & his teaching. I am inspired with real heroes. I am a fan of Gaurav Sabnis a blogger for his courage to hold his stand.
19. There is no word impossible in my dictionary. I know If I want I can make it possible the immpossible.
20. I regret for not getting into IIT's. May be little more preparation & hard work could make my dream true.
Monday, October 31, 2005
India is now 277 for 4, 6 overs to go 21 runs needed. Doni boi is playing outstandingly well. Return of the King Tendulkar has made a good impact on the team?Or Departure of Prince GanGully has bought good luck to the team?
Anyways India is Winning 297 for 4 , Dhoni is 177.. India Winning, Winning & Won. Dhoni 183 not out..
Ooops I screwed up my templete, hehehe I did not have thing else to screw up this week end..
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Tagged again by Uttara
1.Last movie you saw in a theatre? ~*~ Shri Krishna Leela
2.What book are you reading? ~*~So boring Quality Management book Instead of Kamasutra 3.Favorite board game? ~*~ In a board meeting or team meeting, Asking a tricky question to the presentator for which he does not have answer.
4.Favorite magazine? ~*~ anything which u have to hide under the bedsheet to read ;) (Away from mom's microscopic eye's)
5.Favorite smell? ~*~ Body odour of a hunk
6.Favorite food? ~*~ Something cooked & served by a handsome chef
7.Favorite sound? ~*~ Erotic noise.. Have anyone remember Parinda climax scene, Where Madhuri usher some noise ;)
8.Worst feeling in the world? ~*~ The guy whom I am line marofying, is secretly dating my Enemy
9.What is the first thing you think of when you wake up? ~*~ Saala subah ho gaya, I have to get up from the bed now.. Oh noooooooo
10. Favorite fast food place? ~*~ Rajdhani express pantry,
11.Future child's name? ~*~ Depending on who fathers the child ;)
If Afrikan then ----------- Mogambo
If Chinese then------------Ching ming ping
If Japanise then-------------Yew pew mew
If American then ofcourse--- Bill
If British then ------------------Charles
If German then -----------Neil ha ha ha
If Indian then I have to think
12.Finish this statement. If I had a lot of money :~*~ Lots How much?
Ok let me complete the sentence... If I had lots of money, I will go on date to moon with my honey..
13.Do you drive fast?
~*~ Drive fast what?
Ofcourse I drove Men Very fast ;) If u meant car,then FYI I am training Schemaker to drive hehehe
14.Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
~*~ When I was kid yes, now I preffer Fleshed animal
15.Storms cool or scary?
~*~ U asking me or storm Storm replies that I am scary to them I reply Storms are cool to me
16.What was your first car?
~*~ No in past, No in Present.. Definately in Near future ... If someone is presenting me, I dont mind ferrari or BMW, If I have to buy myself then it is either mit subishi lancer or Tata Indica
~*~ Fruit punch
18. Finish this statement, "If I had the time I would..." :~*~ I would what, date many more
19.Do you eat the stems on broccoli? ~*~ I eat roots on broccoli
20.If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice? ~*~ U could see the peacock on my head
21.Name all the different cities/ towns you have lived in? ~*~ Earth, earth can only tolerate my blunder..
22.Half empty or half full? ~*~ what my brain? hahaha It is Empty
23.Favorite sports to watch? ~*~ My favorite sports? is it legal to watch ;)
24.One nice thing about the person who tagged you? ~*~ Sweetoooooooo
25.Morning person, or night owl? ~*~ of course night owl ;)
26.Over easy, or sunny side-up? ~*~ Sunny side
27.Favorite place to relax? ~*~ My man's Arm
28.Favorite pie? ~*~ Apple pie & a chocolate pie sandwiched with a Scotch
Friday, October 21, 2005
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Uttara has tagged me, I thought let me have some fun playing this..
$even things i plan to do :
1* Take CSQA certification ( I want to be the best, Test always help in updating the knowledge) 2* Pierce my Naval Button (To sport that I should always maintain a flat abs)
3* Get a Butterfly tattoo (I love tattoos, also had learnt some lesson from someone)
4* Diwali Shopping (Wanna Shop till I drop)
5* Learn French (hehehe, I am Line marofying the Frenchman;))
6* Go on holiday ( Plan pending since sometime)
7* Grow My hair bit longer, color it & get reverse graduation cut (I am so impatient with my hair, My hair never get to romance with my shoulder, I chop it up)
$even things i can do :
1* Play Prank On any tom, Dick, harry (In office I am full time pass, Entertain other team mate with my prank.. )
2* Never give up..until death & Not bother about consequences
3* Make friendship with any stranger.
4* I love challenges
5* Be very frank
6* Hate like snake
7* Spend whole day in front of Mirror, Modelling he he he
$even things i cant do :
1*Cheat someone for my benifit
2* Without my Cell Phone
3*Without Net Connection
4* Without music
5* without thinking
6* Without my friend's phone call
7* Without News & Coffee
$even things i say most often:
1*Oh my god
3* Wow Lovely
5* No probs
7* What a Pain
$even things what i love doing the most:
Can any one guess?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
revenue generating business.. Even some parents might force their daughter
into it for money..
by brokers, or by kidnappers.. Which lead them to continue with it..
of thinking of legalizing immoral thing.. Many people think it is an easy job?
May be same with others too.
& suffer minimum 6 months in tension.. Every guy visiting Prostitute is worried if he has
contacted the disease. Initial test will not prove the virus presence in the blood.. It will take
when he realized he has contacted the disease.. ok given a thought, it is legalized.
With license also the HIV status to be mentioned.. Me bieng a client, I will ask the prostitute to
show me her license, when I officially come to know that she is suffering from some disease will
I sleep with her? Many advice of Safety? Can any product provide 100% safety.. What if there
Call it a bad luck? Once I was watching the talk show, the prostitute is defending her act as
If it was not them, every girl on the street would have got raped. Because of them, we girls can
protecting our self"
Friday, October 14, 2005
Suhaag raat part II
Note :- This post is completely a imaginary one.. Any resemblance to any one dead or alive is just a mere co-incidence.. If it resemble to any one else, I sympathies them whole heartedly.. I am not mentioning any specific continent , country race or religion.. Because I don’t want to hurt anyone's sentiment.. The names specified in this Post are my future kids name..
Scene 1 A bride in her best designed lingerie waiting for the groom. Groom enters the room with Whiskey & red wine. The groom pours the wine in a glass to the Lady & a Whiskey to himself..
Both are very much excited about their first Suhag Raat after marriage.. Legal marriage surely excites .. Just thinking about the alimony after Divorce is all the fun in the marriage.. Oh gawd , Soo much money , plus new person to romance..(After Divorce)
Both are about to get cozy... They hear some noise outside the bed room.. Mark, Stella are fighting & hitting little Steve.
Mark is Groom's son, Stella is Bride's daughter, Steve is bride's & groom's 8 months Son..
Bride:- Oh gawd, screams in horror.. Honey look her, your son & my daughter are hitting our Son.
Groom:- Honey u take care of Steve, I will take care of Mark & Stella.. ( Groom & Bride exchange Good night kisses & head to children’s bed room)
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Note:- This is just an imaginary post, does not resemble to any one
Scene 1:- South Indian Suhaag Raat
Groom is waiting for a bride in a Room. Bride with her heavy Jewellary sets, loads of flowers & most important with her shy enters the room.
Ist step Groom helping the bride come out of her shyness
Groom :- Suhaag raat hain main usse apni shyness se bahar aane ke liye madad kar raha hoon--Saala Bahut affort lag gaya.
2nd step Groom :- Suhaag raat hain main uski jhulfo se Phool nikal raha hoon, (mann me soch raha hai Yeah sar hai kya, phoolo ka Godown)
3rd step Groom :- Suhaag raat hain main uski Jewar (Jewellary) uttar raha hoon, Jewer uttarte uttarte subah ho gaya, maine pain killar ka kar so gaya.
Scene 2:- North Indian Suhag Raat Bride totally decked with all her make up, Ghunghat ood kar Groom ki intezaar kar rahi hai.. Groom enters the room
Groom :- Suhaag raat hain ghoonghat utha raha hoon main, First attempt Sucessful, looks at the beautiful face of the bride just cannot stop singing this song
Groom :- Chehra Hai Ya Chand Khila Hai Zulf Ghaneri Shaam Hai Kya
Bride:-1 min, Zulf, Thanks for reminding, (She removes the wig, carefully keep in her ward robe). This I hired from the beautician for marraige.
Groom :- No probs Cool Baal Nakli hua tho kya hua, so he continues his song
Groom:- Saagar Jaisi Aankhon Vaali
Bride :- 1 min, let me remove my contact lens Groom panics, yeah Aankhe bhi Nakli hai, Chalo koi baat nahi Kamar tho pathli hai na.
He starts singing Groom :- Patli kamar chikna badan tirchhi nazar hai Masti bhari teri baali umar hai
Bride:- Wait, Let me wear my magnetic waist belt
Groom:- Aab kya hua?
Bride:- Slip disc Problem
Groom gets frustrated anything else u wanna displace or replace
Bride:- yes, this teeth set & artificial legs (She goes to her cupboard, keeps all her assets neatly, comes back to bed)
Frustrated groom asks her, Abhe ye tho batao, Suhag raat main Cupboard me manao kya bed pe.. ha ha ha
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Any problems you have, we have only one solution BAN
Is Rape increasing in Town------- Ban women from wearing mini skirts, tight tops,tight jeans and shorts, saying this will help prevent rape.
MMS is circulated in College------Ban the Cell phone with Camera.
If Policitical Party is not in power & losing its charishma make news ------ Ban the Valentine's day.. If Ban cannot be imposed ask activists to stage demonstrations outside bars, clubs and colleges that plan to organize celebrations on Valentine's Day. If some one question what is wrong in Valentine's day ,Reply back "``What is this Valentine's Day and who brought this Western craze here, which is alien to our culture?"
If the city is flooded --- Ban the Plastic..Say the ban on plastics is a crucial step to unblock the river sources and springs.Shopkeepers and customers violate the ban Fine them.
Crime rate is Increasing in the city --- Ban the dance bars, on the grounds that they corrupt the youth,
One night get up from sleep & Analyse the Cancer rate --- Ban on Gutka, paan masala & also ban new films or TV programmes from portraying smoking... How will ban help stopping people from smoking when the bold letter caution on the Pack really mattered a least?
Banning addictive substances does not stop people from using them. Rather, it leads to illegal, parallel markets.
Dont have Girl friends ---- Ban couple in Park & Band stand
Dont know to dance ---- Ban the discotheque.
If Girls start wearing Bhurkha will the man go impotent?
If people dont use cell phone with Camera, people stop shooting obsence picture?
If valentines day is banned, you get lost power?
If Plastic is banned, filed garbage in the city Vanishes?
If Dance bar is Banned, Indian youth will join Sat sang & start Singing bhajans?
If Gutka if Banned, people start eating Loly pop?
If the entry in park is banned, People stop falling in Love?
If Discotheque is banned, People stop Dancing?
Solution lies not just with the ban but also in providing safe and healthy alternatives. Define rules & regulation, see things fall in that..
Monday, September 26, 2005
According to news agencies, the whole Zimbabwean team is going to resign at the end of the current series. No international cricket will be played by or in Zimbabwe after the current test series is over. The Zimbabwe Cricket Union (ZCU) will also be dissolved. Zimbabwean cricket captain Tatenda Taibu and senior member Heath Streak were unable for comment when contacted by Reuters. President of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe described the decision to dissolve ZCU as "a sad day for Zimbabwe cricket". When asked about the reason for the action, President Mugabe said "It is a great loss for the country of Zimbabwe. Not only the cricket team, but the entire nation is demoralized. We could have easily continued playing cricket after losing to any country in the world, but the shock of watching India's captain Sourav Ganguly make a hundred against us was too much to bear. That is all I have to say."
Friday, September 23, 2005
Note:- Some serious post from me, But Real one Earlier days popular saying, "Food, shelter & Cloths" but now the younger generation changed it to "Make up, Cloths, Shelter, Food" Every female is craze to look beautiful..
And the market offers to change every ninche of your features, figures..From Nose job, smile design,leaps fillup, shaping Boob jobs( breast enhancement) to butt firming.. Initial days these only film actess would undergo these surgery in abroad. But now every street in mumbai, show case the advertisement in local news paper, with mere price for the correction.. Some shocking stories making rounds in papers.
I am so shocked because I had regularly seen these advertiment from the day one, I stepped into Mumbai. Open any mid day, one can find the advertisement of Rashmi Parmar &amp;amp;amp;amp; Pradeep Parmar & thier various beauty treatment. They offered Breast enhancement treatment for just 2500 Rs. Which is really impossible ( silicon implants).
his graphic photo extracted from the porn CD in Sunday Mid Day’s possession shows Dr Parmar masturbating while touching the private parts of a teenage patient
A well-known medico Dr Pradip Parmar, who runs five beauty care clinics in the city, allegedly made porn CDs of unsuspecting female clients, which were then used to blackmail his patients into having sexual intercourse with him.
“He films a patient when vulnerable and then threatens to reveal it to her family unless she gives in to a one-night stand in a hotel. What the girl doesn’t know is that even that is being filmed.” “Once you are caught in his trap, it is difficult to get out,” Says a victim.
Forget about breast enhancement, for a simple full hand waxing, a facial message one needs to change. Even though the services are offered by female beauticians, sometimes they are hand in glows with some notorious people. In some of the beauty parlour or message parlours they carry on with prostitution activity too..
Even for a simple service it is better one should go to ISO certified parlour even one has to shell extra amount..
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Wow ,When I came back to my blog history repeated, I could not speak. Wow it really felt great to know that my blog friends miss me.. Thanks from bottom of my heart. My woe's story start something like this. I am so tied up with my work. What to say :(. it is something like I get all the Money, But No time for My Honey. I was just imagining,
Scenario 1 If I say to my client,
Myself:- Mr. Client Need a leave, Wanna go on a date.
Client:- You are my most reliable & wonderful resource, I don’t want you to be depressed. Myself:- Mr. Client huh I am going on a date. Not on a funeral, What is there to get depressed?
Client:- Oops No no. I don’t mind to give u a leave, but just imagine the side effect of the date. You go on a date, you fall in love, you get into emotional relationship, that mean Guy ditches you. You go into depression. I can’t take that risk. Me :- huh. better logic. Thank you.
Scenario 2 , I get married without my clients knowledge, Go daringly to ask for a leave for honeymoon. I am sure now he cannot come out with his stupid logic.
Me:- Mr. Client, I got married
Client:- Wonderful, that's too good.
Me:-(With a broad smile) I need a leave, I am planning to go on a Honey moon.
Client:- Oops, Honeymoon now ? Honey moon in cool hill station sound good, On 25th wedding anniversary.
Me:- What Honey moon in 25th anniversary ?
Client:- Look, after 25 years everything is so chill, that is the nice time to go to honeymoon. Now when things are so HOT , 4 walls of AC room can induce the same chill as hill station.
Me:- Oh my gawd
Scenario 3:- , I am beaming with happiness I am expecting a baby.. I go to my client for leave. Me:- Mr. Client. There is some good news from my side.
Client:- That's Great, tell me what it is?
Me:- I am expecting a baby, I want to go on a Maternity leave.
Client:- Postpone it.
Me:- I cannot, it is literally impossible task.
Client:- Tell your baby, why he is in a hurry? Show some PPT to him, regarding the pollution, crime, Mumbai Flood, London Blast, Terrorism etc etc on this earth. Tell him, mom's tummy is best place in heaven.
Me:-( murmuring inside my mind, then why are you out.) Huh Ok thank you.
Jokes apart. I am looking into business analyst & quality lead job. From 10 a.m to 5 p.m just discussing the functionality, pros & cons keeps me busy. My real job starts after 5.30.p.m. My colleagues (Development team)fondly call me "Dushmana". (Enemy). Because I don’t compromise with quality. Something to laugh at:- Definition of male:- Male is such type of species on earth, trying hard for 9 months to come out of the female, & trying even more harder all the life to get into a female.(all male's maro math, this defination was told by one male friend himself. If anyone want I can give his address) * The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television,
Tell-a-woman ( too good) * When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness See you all friends, have nice time & take good care of your self. (he he he, I watched 1 episode of KBC)
Friday, August 19, 2005
After reading Z00nie’s “Know "HIM" after magic words” Even I have my own woes it goes on like this he he he.
Everyone in their lives would have had crushes, and me too had my share of crushes. But, it didn't take much time for each of them to turn to crashes. None of my crushes took off, or probably they crashed even before they took off!! Today, when I look back, I can’t manage but to have a laugh.
My first crush was on Mr. X. I was in my Eighth Class then. We happened to speak sometimes. Once I offered him a Cake. He refused to have it and the very next moment I gulped it down. I still can’t forget the dumbstruck look on his face. A few days later, he started going around with one of my classmates. They used to go for wonderful evening walks, Mr X, my classmate and his doggy. Unfortunately (fortunately for me), the affair didn't last too long. On one such romantic walk of theirs, the doggy bit Mr.X. He brought up the question: It’s the dog or me...She chose the dog!!! The news gave me sadistic pleasure.
In 11th-12th. I got very friendly with Mr. Z in my class. It appeared to me that...yes...He is the guy. One day, Mr Z came and sat next to me...close...really close...my heartbeats shot up. He said...I want to tell you something.... but please maintain it as a secret. I knew...this was it...yes.... He went on...you know...X (another classmate of mine) proposed me...and I too like her...and I accepted. I am telling you coz you are like my sister...WHAT THE HECK? As if the first news wasn't bad enough, the second sounded suicidal. I looked at him with an artificial smile and said.... Congrats br..br.. Brother !!!
The next crush didn't take much time to happen. It was Mr. G who walked in to class. I literally had my jaws hanging seeing him. We became good friends...but I never fancied my chances...given the Mr.Z experience. He was my Physics project partner....while He did the project...I concentrated on his Physics ;) ! Just as the boards got over, and as I was mustering enough courage to tell him, his dad got transferred. He changed the city.
Next in engineering college, there was this hottie in my class. Boy....He was a Hunk...Mr. F. used to stand opposite to me in the chemistry lab. I prayed for some chemistry to happen between us. But I guess, he was much smarter than I was. Mr. F realized that I used to mess up all my titration experiments coz I used to be looking at him and not the lab apparatus. I called him out ALONE on my b'day. He turned up with his whole gang of friends. The boys kept giggling and I looked for a place where I could go and bang my head. I huge bill was paid by me by washing utensil in that hotel for two weeks. After that I steered clear of him for the rest of my engineering days.
Moving on from here, it was a major success story. This time round, it took some time for things to crash.... just a little longer. a bit more than five years. Everything seemed like a fairy tale when the crash factor took the better of me.
By this time, I was in my job and I decided to use the term "interest" instead of crush. So , my interest grew in Mr. L in office. I thought he was a very handsome guy. Thankfully, the growth of my interest stopped very soon, the moment I learnt that he was supposed to go on leave the next week for his marriage. he was to marry his long time girlfriend. Only one thought came to my mind.... The good ones are always taken!!!
Day by day my interest started growing in this new hunk in town Mr. S. For me now it is a Do or Die situation. I did not want to die a spinster, I mustered all the courage & proposed Mr. S. Somehow things seem to work well. Finally we decided to marry. I hooked up Manish Malhotra to design my dream wedding white gown. Need not say it ate a major share of my savings, still it was a worth. I & Mr. S after roaming whole lot of diamond showroom in town liked this one particular Diamond wedding band. I was waiting anxiously for “Thee day”. Mr. S Came day before the wedding day, he said can I take a Wedding gown for Press. I said “Oh honey, so sweet of you”. He took both wedding gown & a diamond ring to show to his friends. I was waiting for my wedding gown. Mr. S never returned. After four days I came to know that he ran off with his maid & got married.
Also came to know that he was short of money to buy a Gown & a Ring.
Ha ha ha.....thankfully.....I have grown out of all these......no more CRUSHES.....so no chances of CRASHES......I live this way now.....hey...wait.....who is this handsome coming to my cubicle ???? ;-)
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Every one were so excited about Independence day & Friendship day. For me it was just other Holiday. I have stopped faking things or I am not sensitive to things around me. But some things did excite me. One of my friends is expecting a baby. She is now 7 months. Whenever baby is hungry he just starts moving & kicking in her tummy. Once she eats something baby goes to sleep. This fact really brought tears to my eyes. Wow cutie pie, u too have life. U too sense pain, hunger. Still many ignorant people abort without sensing this. Other colleague of mine has a 8 month old baby. He has learnt to shake hands, flying kiss etc etc. But he refuses to learn to do Tata Bye Bye gesture. She says he never do that. But the fact is he feel's that sign is to depart from his mom. If he waves at her she goes off to office.. OMG it is just amazing to know kids are so smart... Other colleagues 1 year daughter starts winking when she is mad at her. CHOOOOOOOO CHWEEEEEEEEET.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
A WOMAN comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband: Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well,they're gone. "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies: "Margie referred me to a hypnotist
He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache."I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies: "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says: "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says: "Don't move. I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says: "Boy that was wonderful!" The husband says: "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says: "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror saying: "
She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!" ha ha ha
Friday, July 08, 2005
Do women call you Fatty?
Do women call you Baldy?
Do women call you Ugly?
Do women call you Shortie?
Do women call you Stupid?
Do women call you Loser?
Are you over 30, 40, 50, 60, or even 70?
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Friday, July 01, 2005
As an old Italian Mafia Don lay dying he calledhis grandson to his bed. "Grandson, I wannayou lisina to me. I want for you to take mychrome plated .38 revolver so you will alwaysremember me.""But," whined the grandson, "I really don't likeguns, Grandpa. How about leaving me yourGold Rolex Watch instead?""You lisinna to me, you somana bitch" respondedthe Don. "Somma day you gonna be runna dabussiness. You gonna have a beautiful wife,lotsa money, a big home and maybe a coupleof bambinos.""Then onea day you goina comma home andmaybe finda you wife in bed with another man.Whatta you goina do then? Point to you watchand say, 'Times Up???"
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Once my Professor said in class, " "Any begger in the country can hold your collar & ask you what the hell you are doing here" . He has every right to question you. You may be feeling that your parents are bearing the expense of your study. No, what fees u pay is just mere amount.Each individual in the country is responsible for the facility you get here. These labs, these equiptment in the labs are bought by the tax payers money. Even a begger who buys a 2 RS soap pays a tax for that. So you are liable to whole country."
But there are some people who drink,eat, sleep make merry on tax payers money without any guilt, which begger dares to hold thier collar & ask them, "What the hell you are doing Here, you shameless creatures"
Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)
Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
Office expenditure per month : 14,000
Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 (For a visit to Delhi & return: 6000 km)
Daily BETA during parliament meets : 500
Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times)(All over India)
Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year(With wife or P.A.)
Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MP per year : 32,00,000
TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000
For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores) And they are elected by THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, by the largest democratic process in the world, not intruded into the parliament on their own or by any qualification. This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities....... Think of the great democracy we have.............
Recently Sonia Gandhi Hired the flight from Jet airways, for her personal Visit to Russia. Who will bear the expense. Government? From where do government get money from. These so called leaders, with thier low self confidence with the lust of power, contenst in two constituency. Bellary & Ameti. Then again waste crores to conduct re-election.
I really wonder sometime, why do we need this type of leaders. Who wants Useless leaders, Corrupt bearaucrats. It is high time now, putting up with this sorts of people.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading thisPost
- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Somesha , I am single i dont have Famale,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not agood education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me uwelcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls viset my residentor send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Somesha ~*~
i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa statehe is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. Shemay never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which theentire life can run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
She should be good looking and should have a service. She Shoulsd haveone brother and one sister. She should be educated.
(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. Ilove to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. Iam looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i lovemyself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
i am simple boy.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow iamlooking onegirlshe caremeandloveme lot lot lot
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
My wife should be as 'Parwati' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsi asin KSBKBT......
(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding toomuch, ain't he?)
i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in housebut while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing her jeans? ahem...)
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GUY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TOLOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REALMESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEYMUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULDNOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing)
whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someonebride and she must think of the future life if she is toolike this shewould bde called the lady of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants)
i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i lovethe patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person issuffering from "Ok-syndrome")
HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CARAND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK
(the "ok syndrome" again)
iam pradip my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mothersister complity marred
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married'completely'?)
iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence atkalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)
my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaespleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )
Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartly or shehavea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey.IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you arebeautiful. but iam not a handsome person or not a good looking. but myMom say that Iam a good person. My father already expired . iam''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye.
iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred.
I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.
(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)
hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.idivorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the goodminded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other casteaccepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..???)
my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lotshould be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.
(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)
to be married on jan-2005. working woman perferable
(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find abride. I wish him best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he willget one soon.)
i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.because girl is the mahalakshmi.
(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)
ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which notpaying salary at present.
(Any takers again?)
Note:- Note:- I am sorry God, Here I am not making fun of someone's language, but I am amused with peoples attitude;)
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
A half pound substance Controlling 150 Pound man. Ain't it a wonder?. Am talking of "HEART" a most important organ in human structure. I had made real fun regarding the reference of heart for love before experiencing crush types.
Heart break, heart pain. God I have a suggestion to u. If you wanna control the population, Replace the existing heart with glass. I bet you can start a brand new breed. A new Adam & A New Eve.
Have you ever seen a heart, beating in front of your eyes, blood oozing and more... If you dare to see one, follow this link. http://www.specialdefects.com/v2/?heart
A joke :- Once in medical class, a young professor was explaining the human anatomy shoots a question to the class, Why Left breast is bigger than the right one? Female student shy, male getting naughty at the question. No one dares to answer the question. Finally it is the turn of the professor to answer. He replies"Most man are right handed" Lol. Real reason for variation is, the heart is placed at the left side of the chest.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huh Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. why are you blocking
my expressions. Any one can help me suggesting any other software
to post my expressions i mean pics on blogs.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
God had sculptured many beautiful wonders on this world. He thought enuf is enuf now. Let me do something different. So on April 7th some years back, he created an entice piece & sent to this earth. He smiled & said “Here it is”. It dint take much time to realize what a great mistake he had done. He started repenting like Einstein for his E = MC2. But it is too late.
From the day he has created me he dint smile again. Here I am introducing myself a god’s mistake to this blog world . Here I believe that Rules are made to Break. Nothing is impossible in world. There is No stranger on earth. Anybody can be your friend & enemy anytime.
Today is My birthday, and wanted to start something new. So thought sharing my worthless idea is not a bad thing on earth like one God has already done , creating me.